remembering Jade

November is my favorite month. it's the month that I, as well as many of my friends, were born in. it's the time of the year when the weather in Kuwait is at its best, and it's when the flowers I planted in September start to blossom. over all, it's by far the best month of the year.  

as a force-of-habit, I often start my preparations early. as early as October. I buy gifts for my friends and I patiently wait the arrival of their birthday dates in November. I like to plan things out. it makes life a little bit more easy. 

I like to give thoughtful gifts. I put in a lot of time and effort into the gift-giving process because I want the people that are in my life to know that I care for them. their presence in my life has made me happy, and therefore an awesome gift on their birthdays would be a great expression of that appreciation. 

I feel that a proper gift not only makes the recipient happy, but also illustrates the taste of the gift giver. the gift itself has to represent the gift-giver in the best way possible, so digging deep into one's pocket would be a great idea at this point. 

I wasn't always a big spender, but since I stumbled upon a bit of cash, I decided to treat the ones I love to special, expensive presents on their birthdays. the pricier the better. because after all, the more money you are willing to pay the more you show that person that you care.

right?

well, truth be told, I like to give presents for the sake of acceptance. it's a simple fact. no one would be my friend had it not been for the lavish gifts I give. 

sad, but it's the truth.

I remember a girl in my sister's class named Jade, who was overweight for her age and wore thick glasses. she was the epitome of geekiness and no one wanted to play with her. but in the spirit of tolerance, she was invited to a birthday party. and to no one's surprise, her presence there was not very well received. but when she handed out her present, the mood began to change. the gift she brought over to the birthday girl was this beautiful vintage china doll which resonated so well with the party goers that Jade kept getting invited to birthday parties all year round. she became popular because of her amazing taste in gifts. 

I never wanted to be the kind of person that was only wanted because of what I offered to people. I have always wanted unconditional acceptance. but as fate would have it, I will forever find myself the tired (penniless) joker, sacrificing my happiness just so I can win.

and so as I await the arrival of November each year, I am constantly reminded of Jade, and how her spirit will always live on as the bringer of happiness to those who only like her because of her gifts.