I have never been a fan of makeup. I never liked wearing massive loads of coverup* ( coverup = my sister's word for "foundation" ) and color on my face. and yet I find myself now at age 31 with layers of foundation and eyeshadow on my face. and I'm completely shameless about it too! I am so happy that I changed. and just so you know, I have never judged anyone for putting makeup on her face, nor did I mind it when guys did that either. and though I've never dreamed that would someday be a part of the makeup-wearing community, I am very happy to be here though. sometimes it's those unplanned events that work out best. it's never easy to want something and fight for something to happen. but when you sit back and let the pieces fall where they may; then that's when things do go easy. and that's where I find myself right now. I feel like if I had to fight to enter into the beauty community, then I would not like it so much. coz after a while, feelings change. but when you let yourself be naturally lifted, then you will reach those heights with ease. damn, I love how poetic wearing makeup has made me!
so since I am now a valued member of the beauty community, I have settled into my duties perfectly. for example, I follow all the rules of applying makeup as seen on instagram and on YouTube. I buy everything the beauty influencers tell me to buy. I mean, online stores have issued me special discount codes because I'm buying so often from them. and the staff at all the Sephora locations in Kuwait know me by name! whenever a new product is about to launch, I anticipate the arrival and release of it, whether it's of interest to me or not. and then of course, I buy it and store it for when I figure out what to use it for. my bank account and I are no longer friends, but we get along - sometimes. my parents hate me more and more every time a package arrives and they have to sign for it because I'm not home to receive it myself. my sisters don't talk to me about anything except when they need to tell me to cut back on spending and save my money.
life couldn't be any better!
no seriously, I love it...
because for the first time, I feel like I have ... friends.
I know they are not really my friends, but I feel a special connection the YouTube stars because they are kind enough to share their lives with me. and that's something a "real" friend has never done before. "normal" people are not cool enough like that. but it's all good. I mean sometimes it's good to be private. I feel bad, though, that I've never been to my friends' houses yet I know what the inside of JeffreeStar's mansion looks like...
it's fine anyway, because a little makeup will wipe away all signs of depression and sadness.
since I'm well acquainted with everything new on the market thanks to my YouTube friends, I can be sure that I will know first hand what is good out there and what I don't need to have in my collection. so far, I've kept my focus on skincare and very seldom do I buy new makeup items - seeing as I have so many already. seriously, this is what I'm working with, and I feel like I have a lot!
so with all these treasures that I have, it's no wonder that I never pay any particular attention to the new makeup palettes that hit stores one after the other like friggin' dominos! I mean, I still get excited and everything when one my favorite brands like HudaBeauty launches a new palette, but I never intend on buying it because it's not interesting to me and my life. like, all the color combinations just make me feel...lonely.
like, I see a palette with that many colors and I start to think about all the opportunities to hang out with friends and put these delightful hues in action. but alas, no one wants to hang out with me. and although I can go out by myself and make good use of these colors on my face, nobody wants to see a crazy loner with clown makeup! at least that what I think that people think of me when they see me... I mean, I know I don't have to wear all the colors all at once, but I keep thinking about how I can combine the colors for different events and gatherings and then I remember how I won't get invited to any of these and I get sad all over again. not get me wrong, I love the "Desert Dusk" palette from HudaBeauty. and I love everything that she makes. and I've been waiting so long for this palette to hit stores, but then I took a look at my social life and realized that I may not be able to put this to good use. I decided to have this on my wishlist for later. maybe someday I will be brave enough and be more likable and then I will be worthy of this palette.
I don't know what came over me that day I was casually watching MannyMUA on Snapchat and he held up the new, soon-to-be-released "Cat's Pyjamas" palette from his friend, LauraLee, but I fell in love with it immediately. I am not a fan of Laura, but I love her work. and this palette just spoke to my soul! I have seen MannyMUA talk about a lot of products, but I've never been more interested in owning them as I have the LauraLee palette. it's the strangest things!
watch how Laura does an eye look with all the colors in the palette.
while it's true that I can in fact create a "soft" look with the HudaBeauty palette too, it's really a matter of all the colors within the palette itself that makes me feel anxious and sorry for myself for not having enough friends to hangout with and not a lot of places to go to... but with the small number of eyeshadow pans in the Laura Lee palette, I can do lots of looks and still feel good about myself. at the end of the day, it's not about makeup of what different indie brands have to offer. it's all about me and how I feel about myself. both palettes are amazing and the ladies behind are amazing. but I still need to work on myself. and while I am doing that, I've got a mask of colors that will deflect all negative thoughts and help me to find my way back to happiness.
I am very thankful for makeup and how it changed my life. I hope that this journey will take me to unexpected places, because I'm so tired of the ordinary.